The process
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People
who want to improve their relations with
spouses, partners, children, parents, friends, colleagues,
neighbours and so on, may find it
helpful to employ a personal relations consultant. Although the other people in the
relationship need not take part, a successful outcome of the
consultation is more likely
if they do. The key to success is the
determination of everyone involved to find a
solution that is mutually satisfying.
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The consultant's function
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The consultant's task is to help
the clients
discover the real causes of their difficulties
because the causes may not be what they seem!
Removing the obstructions to better understanding can only begin when their
real nature
has become clear. Although the consultant will
help them remove the obstructions, completing the task remains the
responsibility of the clients. The main obstruction is usually a
build-up of misunderstanding that results from difficulty communicating genuine thoughts and feelings. This can lead to
ill-defined obligations and ill-founded beliefs.
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If the process does fail
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As
in all human relationships, there is no easy or
'ready-made' solution. If the clients are unable to reach a better
understanding despite their efforts, the consultant will try to
help them find ways of loosening the ties that bind them with minimum distress to
everyone likely to be affected. That is especially
important of course if some of those involved are children.
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The time will not be
wasted
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People who seek this kind
of help must be prepared to experience tedium and feelings of
discomfort during the process. But, whatever the final outcome, they will have gained
knowledge of themselves and others that is likely to serve them well
in the future.
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